Written by: Kristýna Vondrová
In 1992, the World Federation for Mental Health declared International Mental Health Day, which falls annually on October 10. Its purpose is to remind us that our mental well-being is just as important as good physical condition, and to promote the destigmatization of mental disorders. How are our mental and sexual well-being related? Can self-care in one area improve the experience of the other? And what to do when sex turns into a source of anxiety?
Masturbation as an effective coping strategy
Our mental health in the 21st century is most threatened by lack of sleep, chronic stress and poor work-life balance. Are you overwhelmed by the load of work and personal responsibilities, financial uncertainty, or relationship problems? And can you name how you help yourself in difficult situations and emotional stress? In other words: describe to us your coping strategy, i.e. your (conscious or unconscious) stress management technique.
When you think about the spectrum of healthy practices (that do not include a bottle of red wine, stress eating, endless web scrolling, or an aggressive outburst), we have surprisingly few options. Burn off some physical activity, chat to a friend, go to the sauna and get a massage... and what else? Let's remember masturbation, for which we don't need two hours of time, a soulmate or a few hundred left in the wallet.
Orgasm as a natural antidepressant
How exactly masturbation reduces cortisol (stress hormone) levels? During orgasm, dopamine is released into the body, which strengthens the feeling of joy and reward, as well as endorphins, which act as natural analgesics and reduce pain. In addition, there is a release of oxytocin, the love hormone, which promotes a sense of calm and safety. This cocktail of hormones also supports the quality of our sleep. Of course, this also applies to orgasm during partner games.
Bringing body and mind into harmony: mindfulness meditation
We already know that (and why) it is possible to please the head through bodily pleasure. But can we turn it around? Contribute to better sex with skillful head work? Although our fantasies and desires differ, we believe that at one point the memories of our best nights intersect: we lived fully in the present, for that intimate moment.
We were not thrown off the wave of excitement by the intrusive thought of the deadline and the unironed pile of laundry. How to better tune in to a similar flow even in more ordinary moments, when the freshness of the relationship or unusual backdrops no longer contribute to the volley of orgasms? Try a mindfulness technique focused on the body. Suitable for both solo and tandem rides:
- Leave the cell phone behind the bedroom door. It's more like point zero, but it's useful to poke. Nothing pulls us out of the moment more than an annoying vibration.
- Concentrate on your breath. Try to consciously focus on your breathing. Breathe slowly and deeply and feel each inhalation and exhalation.
- Body scan (body scan). Lie down or sit comfortably and spend a few minutes feeling your body from head to toe. Feel whether body parts are relaxed or tense.
- Sounds and smells. Notice not only touch, but also other sensory sensations around you. Focusing on details connects you to the present moment.
- Accept emotions. During experiences we encounter different emotions: excitement, nervousness and frustration. Don't judge them, just feel them.
When sex turns into stress
Unfortunately, many of us also encounter moments when we lose the joy of sex. Long-term stress, depression and anxiety can significantly reduce libido, cause vaginal dryness and lead to alienation from a partner. Certain medications, such as antidepressants, have similar effects. Even the health benefits of an orgasm will not entice us to play, and a conscious effort for mindfulness will not correct our trauma or self-esteem. That's why we want to remind you:
There is no such thing as a perfect body or the right amount of sex. Since puberty, we try to answer what is the norm in bed when it comes to intimacy. But sexual experiences should be based on what brings us joy, not on the pressure of the environment. Make decisions in your intimate life according to your own preferences and boundaries.
It is okay not to want sex. According to a survey CZECHSEX (NÚDZ, 2023), reduced sexual desire occurred at some point in life for at least a few months in 45% of women and 24% of men. Don't blame yourself if your libido is at freezing point. The dry season simply belongs in our stories. It makes no sense to force yourself into sex just out of a sense of obligation.
Don't be afraid to seek professional help. Less than 5% of the Czech population ask for professional support in case of significant difficulties in the area of sexual health. A safe space is provided by Sexhelp: National Line for Gender and Sexual Health. It is an EMERGENCY service that provides consultations and crisis intervention to all interested parties looking for solutions to their problems.